Based Yourabusedbitch P Your Abused Bitch Lv Tag Doudizhu Your Abused Bitch Girl Looks Like a Bitch

January 20th, 2010 by Spencer

Some people like to do yoga naked from the waste down…  It’s called mental illness.

Don’t know about you, but like this bitch, I like to really feel the breeze through my ass crack when I’m meditating, although I doubt her copy of “Spirituality For Dummies” said anything about taking pants off.

Living with a crazy bitch is never easy.  Her husband left her in 2003 for a normal woman who will put out without having to wait for the astrological go ahead from Mercury and Uranus.

Being dumped came as a shock – the tarot didn’t mention it, so these days she steers clear of romantic involvement… although she does flick her bean to a Fox News anchor who has convinced her that global warming is fraud.

She also has an 11 year old son who she embarrasses by saying stuff in front of his friends like “urine is good for the skin” and “did you remember to take your worm medicine?”.

Her erratic thinking is encouraged by her friends who produce dizzy online tutorials or “random yoga-is-yummy videos” as they are known on the streets of America:

Hey wake up, it’s finished.  This clip proves what we’ve been saying for years:
It IS possible to move like a yoga jedi, learn innovative ways to tie your church scarf AND lube up a zucchini all in under 5 minutes…  So yeah, a big fuck you to all the doubters.

January 14th, 2010 by admin

That smile doesn’t cover up the fact that this bitch has Play-Doh machine hair.

When she’s not pretending that she reads books by wearing glasses, she’s busy passive aggressively getting back at all the boys that broke her heart by her sending pictures of her private areas to kids that were born in the 90′s. You know, kids that don’t know what Max Headroom is or the fact that tapes have two sides.  You can just tell by her Woody Allen looks she’s a real bitch. She’s the kind of girl that will feed you bullshit like anal sex is ok because it isn’t real sex or one day she’ll be on American Idol even though she’s real nasally. I just wonder where you could squeeze her to get a star shaped coiler to slide out her STD hole?

Her parents wasted twenty something thousand dollars on her communications degree. She’s still a hostess at the local Applebee’s do to her inability to pass a drug test and is the 46 year old manager’s live in girlfriend. He makes the insurance payments on her Geo Tracker in exchange for the sex he never got from his ex-wife. It’s no problem though because his ex-wife has already found a daddy for their kids and  he just got back from Afghanistan.

December 31st, 2009 by Spencer

When we started writing this popular hate site, we never expected to get coverage in The New York Times or receive comedy nominations – so 2009 has been an interesting year for us.

We want to thank all our readers and the loyal bitch-haters who keep us inundated with such a fresh supply of bitch pics.

As always, keep the pics coming.  We don’t want all those egocentric, obnoxious assholes going around in 2010 thinking everyone likes them.  No we don’t.  So help us keep the flame of hate alive!™  If we could maybe get a few more angry emails from fathers threatening to sue us for blowing the whistle on some evil witch daughter in the new year then it will be a truly exquisite time for bitch ridicule around the world.

Don’t do it for us.  Do it for all the nice girls out there who don’t suck.

Our guest reviewer Kenzie (above) from Christchurch, New Zealand, took the time to email us to tell us how fucking great we are.  Thanks Kenzie.  She also shared some banal thoughts and trite philosophy – which after a few lines started to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher.  It was then that I switched off and went back to my comfy daydream about fucking her in the ass.  Look at those big eyes too, who wouldn’t want to glue those shut by blowing their beans all over that pretty face?

Happy New Year Bitch Fans!

December 28th, 2009 by admin

Facebook biches come in all shapes and sizes, lets just take the time to admire the cans on that small one for a minute. I don’t need to really point her out because she already has two man made beauties pointing right at you. A lot better than the sorry pre-harvest oranges on the right.

Holding a glass of  Bi-Lo wine doesn’t make you sophisticated.

Facebook is full of  post college trash. After majoring in drinking for 4 years at “state university” real life is kind of a drag. Facebook is a good way to show your friends how high class you’ve become by taking a shit load of pictures of yourself in front of European cathedrals or tall New York skyscrapers. Maybe everyone you knew back in the day will forget how you like to sleep around with your friends’ boyfriends. She’s well traveled, maybe she stopped using blow jobs as a hand shake.

When facebook girls aren’t covering up their whorish tendency with black dresses and making the guy they are fucking this week dress up in a sweater vest then goop product in his hair so he can look like he walked off the cast of Friends. They are letting the Mr. Hyde side of themselves come out to play. Ignorant as to why they didn’t get that job after a quick background check, a long night of bar hopping and waking up in the back seat of her Honda Accord with a foreign object stuck in a naughty place is normal.

Just a side note, this is a picture is probably of a girl from myspace not facebook. Myspace is a great source for bitches but that’s an already known fact. Myspace is a very sad place that makes normal people feel bad inside.

December 8th, 2009 by Spencer

I have a tattoo of ’s Android Operating System logo on my wrist.

Of course, when we encounter such an edgy, intellectual lady on this site we like to ask the obvious question everyone’s wondering:  Does she give good head?

She knows how to make your windows boot quick, but when it comes to interfacing with your underpant champion, chances are she will slobber all over your junk like an old lady sucking on badly fitting dentures.

Why?  Because that’s the problem when you prefer machines to people.  Flowchart diagrams and TPS reports are a piece of cake but physical activities are awkward and clumsy.  It’s the same reason nobody wants a brainiac on their sports team.  Take Stephen Hawking for example – widely regarded as one of the most brilliant scientific minds alive but can he beat me at basketball?  No.  …To be fair, Professor Hawking – who has motor neurone disease, is so physically disabled he can’t wipe his own ass (or at least that’s what he’s been telling his sexy nurses for the last 25 years).  But if you spoke like Speak and Spell and your only physical contact with the opposite sex was having dribbled, mashed banana wiped from your chin every day you’d probably want to seize every intimate moment you could too.

The point is, the cleverer you are, the less physically gifted you are.  So if this hacker chick did drop to her knees and attempt to do the deed you should definitely expect frustration along the way…  For example, just as you’re finally getting somewhere she’d keep stopping to ask “Am I doing it right?”

In that situation, you need to speak the girl’s own hacker lingo to keep her focussed on the task while you complete your brute force attack on her tonsils.  Explain to her that you are the task manager and you have administrator access to her mouth.  Then, when the time is right, upload your genetic blueprint into her face.